Taking a hint

I used to have a twitter account. Sadly, I have had to remove this. I didn’t really have much choice. I had shared far too much on there, some very personal things that were not meant for the wider internet.

I am now realising just how much I miss twitter. I had some genuine friends on there and have not heard from them since the account went. Despite having my email address, contact is less than sporadic. At first I thought that a sall prompt was needed, nope. I thought that the real world might be taking up their time, but I have no way of telling as I’m getting no reply.

This is less of a bitch and a moan and more of an observation, but I’m starting to get the hint…

So judgemental

Christmas is nearly upon us once again. It has been sneaking up on me the last few years, leaving me panicking with just a few days to sort everything. The biggest burden of Christmas is the Christmas card. Fortunately there are now a number of websites that will print and send cards for you. This year I thought I’d give one of these a try.

Being a bit on the kinky side, I wanted to send a ridiculously filthy card to a select few people who I knew would appreciate the sentiment.




I checked all of the T’s and C’s on all of the card sending websites and went to work ordering my card from the site with the best deal. Payment was taken and a delivery date selected. Now all I had to do was sit back and wait for the cards to arrive with the recipients.

Sadly, the cards never arrived. I then received an email to tell me that the card could not be sent as it was offensive. I checked the T’s and C’s again and found no mention of this, so I replied that the recipients would not find the card offensive at all. I received no reply but the money was refunded to my account.

There were many things about this that worried me. First, why was there no mention of “offensive” cards on the T’s and C’s? Second, what is defined as offensive? Third, if this is a manual process, could a different person have let me card through? Finally, why did I not receive a reply?

As it stands, I will send an e-card and try a more toned down option next year.

Farewell

After some soul searching this week, i have decided to say goodbye to my twitter account. i have met some awesome people on there, but i found it hard to separate my real life feelings and the fun/kinky twitter account. So i deactivated it.

i'm now just waiting out the 30 days until all of my historic posts disappear and the persona is gone forever. This is less waiting, more willpower. A large part of me does not want to say goodbye.

But i must, so i shall. It would take some serious convincing to keep me on there...

Under the radar

It looks as though this little blog has slipped under most people's radar. i suppose that could be a good thing. As much as the idea of hundreds or thousands of people hanging off my every word thrills me, the content of this blog also makes that a chilling thought.

With regards to content, there isn't really a lot here. my previous blog was fairly full of intimate and downright revealing facts about me. As such, it had to go. i'm all for revealing my innermost thoughts, but anonymously is the way forward.

Now for my real reason for posting tonight. It's about time i went back to work on my erotica. Sadly, my generation does not seem to appreciate the written word as much as i do. The erotic literature sites i post to have slowly dwindling numbers. Unless a site has a scenario as a movie, nobody wants to know. Personally, i love to read erotica. Some of my darkest fantasies have stemmed from erotica, and yes i am happy that someone else's story has warped my mind.

i'm still procrastinating, ranting away on my unread blog instead of writing smut filthy enough to corrupt the whole of middle class America. Middle class Britain is beyond corruption, everyone has a dirty secret here ;)

Any comments or suggestions, please feel free to pop them in the form below.

Model for hire

A few months ago i had the pleasure of serving as a sub model for a femdom site. i did this after seeking permission from my wife. Despite this, my wife and i still argued about what this meant in terms of fidelity.

Things were seemingly resolved, but my desire to serve is still present, which is why i have since applied to appear in more shoots, albeit without my wife's knowledge. my theory is that until i have an actual confirmed shoot, there's not much point in causing upset.

The idea of appearing on film is such a rush. From the moment the shoot begins, i have no control. It is not about me, purely about accepting what is demanded of me and trying to fulfil this requirement. As a result, i crave this kind of service again, being abused for profit without the comfort of safe words or limits.

The ambiguity of on and in

I work IT, a mainly male department. There is a lot of ambiguity and interchangeability between on and in. For example, log on and log in, files on a drive and files in a drive, remoting on and remoting in to a machine.

There are two areas, however, where this interchangeability should not be used. On time and in time being the first. On time means on schedule, properly deployed and tested with an opportunity to deal with teething issues. In time means holy crap we deployed it the night before it went live.

The other area that on and in mean completely different things is in the gents. Unfortunately my colleagues do not seem to be able to let go of the on/in flexibility. Where toilets are concerned, pissing on is not the same as pissing in!

File sharing

While perusing a favourite adult file sharing site this week, i spotted a film from a site from a site whose owner i know. Normally, upon seeing free porn like this i'd be straight in there, but this time, it felt different. This was a small site/studio, it was taking money directy from one person, and a project that i know they worked hard.

Now major studios, fair game. The prices that these studios charge are ridiculous. Much like mainstream hollywood, studio execs are pushing out generic movies and charging premium prices. On the flip side, small/indie studios are creating amazing content, tailored to the members' wants/desires, costing sensible amounts. These are the kinds of adult films i like to watch, and gladly pay for. i tend to avoid these on file share sites.

Honesty pt2

After thinking about it, i decided to show my wife my list. i am yet to hear her opinions. When i showed her, she went quiet and asked if i would be disappointed if i didn't get to do them all.

i'm still not sure what that means. Is it that she's ok with some of them? Is she dead against some? Or all? When i pressed her for clarification, she just said that it's my list, and it's not up to her. Last time she said that, i made a choice and she did not like it.

So is it ok to act on my list? Am i likely to tick any off? i have no idea, but i'm sure i'll be blogging about it for a while.

Honesty Vs Monogamy

i've always maintaine that the key to happiness is honesty, and the same applies to relationships. The question is, which is more important, honesty or monogamy? Being honest, i don't think monogamy is for me, but it's hard to keep that honesty when it would hurt the relationship to say it.

i adore my wife, and i think she is hot as he'll, but i don't feel like that's enough. Every now and then she'll be a bit kinky, but that's not our dynamic. For her to do the things i crave could harm our relationship more than me telling her that i want more than just her. Relationships are complicated enough, but either way i look at it, honesty or monogamy, someone is going to get hurt.

Oops

It was an average lunch. i sat with my friends. We were talking about life, love and all that jazz. Then the conversation somehow came onto our top 10 sexual activities to do before we're 30. Of course i made the error of saying i already ha a list. Next thing i know, my lovely innocent, yet quite understanding, friend is reading my blog post on my top 10. The real shock was her reaction: "I'd half expected you to have done most of these!"

Wow. Hit for 6! Apparently i give off this kind of vibe without having to say anything. Or maybe i've said something but was too drunk to remember it. Either way, oops!

1st post, fresh blog

So here i am, fresh blog, blank canvas. The question is, what am i going to fill it with. i had a blog full of kinky ideas, stories, personal things but it got stale and i wanted a fresh start. Here it is.

Who am i?

i think the name says it all. i am a wannabe submissive. i am married. my wife is amazing... but (there is a but) she is vanilla. She has little to no interest in kink whereas i crave the hand of a Dominant Woman.

What is this blog about?

i'm hoping to fill this blog with little ideas and tales of my exploits and fantasies. i'm not going to be posting daily, sometimes not even regularly, just when the mood takes me. If you want to get in touch, if you like what you see or even if you don't, just post a comment, i promise to read them all.