A great day - A brief summary of the youngdommes/class5b shoot

After all that was discussed with my partner, i decided to attend the shoot. i caught the train again and arrived at the required time, having met another filming slave at the station. After the general introductions and limits chat, the Dommes arrived and the day began.

my first scene was pet play (my recurring theme) and Miss Amy took me for the photoshoot. It was a posy shoot, culminating in Her feeding me a dog treat. Amy is gorgeous, and after some direction really loosened up.

my next scene was a video and more pet play. Miss Ely took me out the front of the house (visible from the road if you drive slowly enough) and took me for “walkies”. Miss Ely is a true Domme to the core and seemed to genuinely enjoy my humiliation. Unfortunately, while walking me indoors, i cut my knee quite badly.

Some general foot worship scenes were next. i watched one of the other slaves take a horrendous thrashing upside down in the brutal cold outside. Another slave was caged.

Then it was my turn again. On arrival i had drawn the short straw for this scene. i was placed outside in the cage and i waited while the Dommes filmed inside. Then Miss Amy and Miss April came outside with my lunch. After some more doggy pet play they dished up my meal, a plate of dog food. The smell alone made me wretch. Apparently my lack of enthusiasm for eating the food was noticed and both Dommes took the opportunity to force my face into the food. Then, as i still hadn’t eaten much, more “walkies” to build an appetite. Finally it was back to the cage to eat some more.

That whole scene felt 100% real. It was not staged or acted; Miss April wanted me to eat that food. i tried and failed and that clearly pissed Her off, hence stamping my face into the plate. Despite the disgusting food, this was one of my favourite scenes, purely for the reality.

Another couple of general scenes were next, including a photoshoot with Miss Pixie the schoolgirl beating me and another guy up in the locker room. This CFNM scene nearly went bi when Miss Pixie had me kiss Her feet while standing on the other slave. Fortunately, that was the extent of the scene. Another scene had me giving pony rides. Sadly my knee was failing me completely and i was struggling to move.

my last scene is my standout favourite. Ballbusting with Miss Ely, who had brought her ballbusting shoes especially. Every kick was sweet agony and She had me collapsed in just a couple of kicks. Then the other Dommes had a turn, each seeing how many kicks it would take to drop me. Miss April won with just two. Then, having grown bored of ballbusting, it was time for some more face-slapping. Miss Amy had my ears ringing but it was worth it.

All in all it was a great day. i would definitely like to do it all again. With regards to the Dommes, Miss Ely was the standout for me. i think i will have to arrange a session with Her soon.

Anticipation

i recently applied for a position as a filming slave for a professional kink production company. i have had the pleasure of working with this particular company before, and i find their style refreshing. The position is unpaid, save expenses, but that’s to be expected given the subject matter. i sent my application late one evening after spotting an ad on a filming slave notice board. i had waited all of fifteen minutes before i received a reply.

Now, with the date of the shoot looming, i am terrified. There are a few things that i am worried about, some small, some fairly significant.

First, will i be up to standard? Last time i shaved all over as this is what was preferred. This time i am unable to do so, although i plan to take a razor just in case. Also, having set no limits last time, will i be able to withstand what is thrown at me? Last time was no picnic, i was hosed down with ice cold water and it was not a warm day. i cannot shake the feeling that this is again in store and this time it’s winter.

Second, will anybody find out? i do not like the hood that is offered to protect identity, somehow i get claustrophobic. However, revealing myself to the world in this way is less than appealing. The only comfort is that if someone were to see the video, they must have signed up to the sites, meaning they have as much to hide as i do.

The third, and rather significant issue is the strain on my relationship. With my relationship almost at breaking point, is this the most sensible option? The fact is that i enjoy this, not for gratification, but degrading myself at the commands of beautiful women makes me feel liberated. At home, i often have to ask and explain before i can be treated this way, defeating the purpose entirely.

So now i am excited yet uneasy. Part of me wants to cancel, but i cannot. As this is a professional agreement, i do not believe it would be right to walk away. The company in question has seen its fair share of this and i do not want that kind of reputation.

Head, meet brick wall

It’s official. Expaining kink to my partner is like banging my head against a brick wall. Last week i showed her a chastity device online and asked what she thought. It seemed promising as she went off and looked at other devices and how they worked. i was excited by the thought of handing her the keys to my sex drive.

Then the next day, cool as a cucumber. i asked her again how she felt about it. She replied that she didn’t understand, was i asking to be put in chastity? Once again, she had missed the point.

Since i revealed my inclinations to her, i have explained one simple truth:

If i have to explain what i want, then it takes away the whole dynamic

Sometimes she understands, but usually she does not care. i have dropped many hints to her, but either she ignores them or she straight out asks me if that’s what i want. As soon as that happens, the answer is no.

Despite this, i am constantly being berated for not understanding her needs. Her need for sensual and passionate love-making, her need for a vigorous fucking, her need for romance, apparently i am blind to these. This is not true at all, she gets what she wants far more than i do.

i recently had a long drinking session with a friend where we discussed life and love. She said that it seems like my partner is projecting her insecurities. i have to admit, it does seem like that.

*My partner cheated on me for an extended period and every time i talk to a woman, i must be cheating too.

*My partner does not give me what i crave sexually, i get accused of not meeting her needs.

*She becomes an ice queen and goes into the foulest of moods, she tells me that i don’t want to talk.

Perhaps this is just women in general, but it seems insane to me.

New year, new me, new idea

We are now a week into 2012. This year is the year of Olympics, Apocalypse and a host f other events.

i made some resolutions this year.

1) Lose weight
2) Be happier

These are some nice generics but i have some specifics that i can only post here.

Losing weight is straight forward. Being happier is a lot more complex. This year, i plan to exercise my kink a lot more. i am going to start going to fetish club nights, local munches and generally getting into the community.

i am also going to ask my partner to put me in chastity as an experiment. i have just one concern, drinking with the lads could be a problem (the people i drink with think drunken nudity is a legal requirement). i think i'll suggest it, but ask for permission for release to go out on big weekends...

Any ideas, post a comment.

Taking a hint

I used to have a twitter account. Sadly, I have had to remove this. I didn’t really have much choice. I had shared far too much on there, some very personal things that were not meant for the wider internet.

I am now realising just how much I miss twitter. I had some genuine friends on there and have not heard from them since the account went. Despite having my email address, contact is less than sporadic. At first I thought that a sall prompt was needed, nope. I thought that the real world might be taking up their time, but I have no way of telling as I’m getting no reply.

This is less of a bitch and a moan and more of an observation, but I’m starting to get the hint…

So judgemental

Christmas is nearly upon us once again. It has been sneaking up on me the last few years, leaving me panicking with just a few days to sort everything. The biggest burden of Christmas is the Christmas card. Fortunately there are now a number of websites that will print and send cards for you. This year I thought I’d give one of these a try.

Being a bit on the kinky side, I wanted to send a ridiculously filthy card to a select few people who I knew would appreciate the sentiment.




I checked all of the T’s and C’s on all of the card sending websites and went to work ordering my card from the site with the best deal. Payment was taken and a delivery date selected. Now all I had to do was sit back and wait for the cards to arrive with the recipients.

Sadly, the cards never arrived. I then received an email to tell me that the card could not be sent as it was offensive. I checked the T’s and C’s again and found no mention of this, so I replied that the recipients would not find the card offensive at all. I received no reply but the money was refunded to my account.

There were many things about this that worried me. First, why was there no mention of “offensive” cards on the T’s and C’s? Second, what is defined as offensive? Third, if this is a manual process, could a different person have let me card through? Finally, why did I not receive a reply?

As it stands, I will send an e-card and try a more toned down option next year.

Farewell

After some soul searching this week, i have decided to say goodbye to my twitter account. i have met some awesome people on there, but i found it hard to separate my real life feelings and the fun/kinky twitter account. So i deactivated it.

i'm now just waiting out the 30 days until all of my historic posts disappear and the persona is gone forever. This is less waiting, more willpower. A large part of me does not want to say goodbye.

But i must, so i shall. It would take some serious convincing to keep me on there...