Sunday, 30 December 2012
A predicament
I heard a phrase a few years ago, when I met my wife actually. I explained that I am often uncomfortable when I’m naked as I lack the size to be confident. Her response immediately set me at ease. “You’re a grower, not a shower,” she told me. I may look small, but after a bit of inspiration I have a good size (7” length, 4” around).
Since being together, my confidence has grown immensely. I am now comfortable with my own body. I understand that a well groomed man appears larger (and cleaner of course) so I keep the hair short. I am able to bring my wife to orgasm and I can go for a good long time.
Now I have a problem. I have a cuck fantasy. The problem is that I am perfectly capable and she doesn’t see that she could find better. We are a good fit. I know this. Her experience with well endowed men is that they rely too much on their statistics and lack any good technique.
She’s not a prude and has previously expressed an interest in the cuck fantasy, but the talk breaks down when it comes down to my “inadequacies”. I am confident enough to not take her “small dick” comments seriously. I know full well that I can please her as well as any “real man”.
So how do we proceed? Answers on a postcard...
Thursday, 26 July 2012
A Monumental Clusterfuck
On Wednesday I was due to serve Miss Ely in a photoshoot. I had been looking forward to it for nearly a month. The night before, I prepared by shaving my beard and body. I woke up early and grabbed my bag and headed out the door.
1st stop was the cash point. And that’s where the day went south. I had no money. It was payday and I had no money. Now, although not my intention to complain about money, this time I will as I had less than none.
As it turns out, the payroll bureaux did not pay me until nearly 9am. By this time it was too late for me to travel to Miss Ely’s. Needless to say I was very disappointed. All I can hope for is that Miss Ely will allow me another opportunity to serve.
Friday, 20 July 2012
Overshare
Once again, I have made a fatal error. I appeared to have overshared on fetlife. I have my own blog where I can vent and share and I know that if someone bumps into it, they can either take it or leave it.
But this time I have shared something very personal in a group, and what I have shared does not paint me in a good light. It shows how selfish I am and how inconsiderate I can be.
However, I guess that was part of the purpose of the group and my presence on fetlife. The humiliation of baring that part of me is part of the package.
I shared my post on my sexual bucket list (now removed from my blog due to the blogger app's stupidity). In fact, let me put it back:
Total slavery for a long weekend
Be cuckolded by my wife
Pleasure her lover
Be used as human toilet paper by a woman
Sex with a tg woman
Sex with a woman with a different ethnicity
Be in an orgy 6+
Have 3+ women in my bed at once
Attend a fetish club night
Saturday, 7 July 2012
Miss Ely’s On-Screen Victim (#68)
Yesterday I had the pleasure of being a filming sub for Miss Ely. As
usual, I’ll post a little about the day here.
But first, a quick note on Miss Ely.
I have had the pleasure of filming with Miss Ely before, on the set of
YoungDommes. She was brutal, yet nurturing, and ballbusted me to my limit and
further. So when the opportunity arose to film with Her again, I jumped at the
chance.
On arrival, Miss Ely and CMUK made me feel welcome and comfortable. I
was attacked by the lovable Domm (the ChiRussel), who made himself known during
downtime (super cute).
After a quick discussion of limits and ideas, it was on with the shoot.
Miss Ely started with an intro, She gave me a number (#68), a collar and had me
serve as a footrest while She painted Her nails. I then blew Her nails dry (blow-job...).
The next scene was a spanking. I’ve never been good with spanking (or
CP in general) but I did my best to count out the strokes; 68 to match my
number. My arse was stinging at the end and had turned a lovely shade of pink (and
gave off a lot of heat).
After a short break, it was back to reality as Miss Ely began a torture
scene. Bells on the collar first so She could make me jingle, Miss Ely started
some CBT. No spoilers here, but it was unlike anything I had ever experienced
before. When She finished, I was glad to sit on the floor and give Miss Ely a
foot massage.
A final break (with Domm going loopy) then it was time for the final
scene, more torture. This time it was the nipples. Again, no spoilers here, but
I can say that I definitely have a bad cock (“Badcock”).
So there is my brief write-up of the day. I have to say that Miss Ely is
a true Master (Mistress) of the art of torture, knowing exactly what buttons to
press and when. She dances just on the limit, backs off then pushes you fully
over the line. In that She is an expert as, once the line is crossed, you
instantly forget why you worried about it. In this, She makes sure you are not
broken, but rebuilt.
Now for the linkies:
MissEly.com
Miss Ely's Blog
Friday, 29 June 2012
Update
It’s been a while since I blogged. I’ve not really had much to say and I’ve not done anything of consequence to write about. I’ve not even had any decent thoughts or fantasies.
But now I have a dilemma and I don’t know how to deal with it. However this is not the time or place for a desperate plea for attention. This is just a rant. A short rant…
Once I’m ready to spill, spill I shall!
Monday, 5 March 2012
The new boss
The worst part of my job was not the workload. It wasn’t even the hours, or my colleagues. I even got on well with my boss. The worst part of my job was the customer. i was in tech support. Most of my job consisted of fixing someone else’s mistakes. The rest of my job consisted of finding out what mistakes had been made.
But i was good at what i did and was respected among my peers. Until last month.
It was a Friday afternnon and it was slow. i had just reset another password and was mouthing off to a colleague. “123abc is clearly too hard for these people!” i had joked. We were still chuckling when the next call came through. The woman had locked out their system and “urgently needed to get back in”. i took one look and just dismissed her plight. Her name was Emily and she worked in “resolution”, whatever that meant.
“Please,” she had begged, “i don’t want to lose my job!”
“That’s not my problem,” i had said, “but for future reference try remembering your password.”
She had burst into tears and hung up. i spent the rest of the afternoon doing as little as possible.
The following Monday i arrived at work to a huddle of people around my desk. I pressed through the crowd and found a beautiful woman sat on my desk. She had long red hair flowing down past her shoulders, a few strands clutching at her pretty face. She looked to be in her early twenties. She was wearing a tight white blouse showing off her ample breasts and a short pencil skirt. On her feet were a pair of black patent mary jane heels.
“Can i help you?” i asked.
“Sure,” she said in a calm voice, “you can choose between your job and your dignity.”
i glanced around quickly. There was no sign of my boss. “He’s gone,” she said, “promoted to my old job! The one i lost on Friday. Thank you for your help fixing my PC, and the advice was so very useful. Well now i’m your boss and I’m giving you a choice: keep your job, or keep your dignity?”
Her voice was calm, a polar opposite to her panicked and tearful plea on the phone. i had no idea what was going on, but i could not afford to lose my job.
“i can’t lose this job,” i pleaded, “please don’t sack me. i’m sorry i didn’t help you before, but please don’t sack me. i’ll do anything to keep this job.”
My colleagues all burst into laughter. “Of course you keep your job,” Emily chuckled, “I couldn’t sack you if i wanted to, but it’s good to know your dignity is so easily sacrificed.”
i felt my face redden. i had never felt so ashamed. All of my colleagues were laughing at me and my new boss had not only caused the situation, but was encouraging them. She looked straight at me and smirked. There was a spark, i started to get hard. She was looking right into my soul.
i hurredly sat down. Emily was still perched on the edge of my desk as my colleagues returned to theirs. “Aww, don’t you like being humiliated in front of your colleagues?” She asked.
i started my PC, avoiding eye contact.
“Or perhaps you do,” she continued, “i saw you twitch. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, at least as long as you behave.”
Her eyes burned into me as i met her gaze. “What do i have to do?” i asked.
“Firstly, we will have a disciplinary for your poor performance last week. Then you will start working as my assistant, in addition to your usual duties. If you perform well enough, eventually you will be my assistant full time. Now, disciplinary, go to the meeting room and wait.”
i quickly grabbed a notepad and pen and headed to the meeting room downstairs. The office was built in an eighteenth century hospital and the meeting room used to be the archives in the basement. The room was modern, but not without some of the original touches, the oak door, the arches along the walls, even some of the equipment remained. i entered the room and changed the sign on the door to “Occupied”. i took a seat at the table and waited.
After a few minutes, Emily appeared. With her was a woman i recognised from HR. She had an air of confidence about her as she swept into the room. Emily locked the door behind her and slid into the seat opposite me. The HR woman stood at the head of the table.
“Resolution,” began Emily, “is not a customer facing department. The team works on finding weak links in the company and dealing with them. I must tell you that anything discussed here is strictly confidential and will not leave this room. I must ask that you afford me the same courtesy. Okay?”
“Good,” she said before I could answer, “I do not want to fire you, nor do I want to tarnish your employee record. But you must be punished. Are you willing to hear our terms?” i nodded.
“Excellent,” she continued, “You know about the changes to your role, but first we have to deal with your attitude. As I said before, you can keep your job, but not your dignity, and you clearly want to keep your job.”
“i do,” i said meekly.
“From now on, you will address me as Miss Emily, Miss or Boss. You will accept any punishment that is decided or you will be unemployed. You will be punished for all failures. Now stand up and show me how hard your cock is!”
i stood. Just as she had said, my cock was fully erect, straining hard against my jeans.
“Now strip!”
i looked to the HR woman. “Julie will not help you,” said Miss Emily, “this was her idea.”
Resigned, i stripped out of my clothes, folding them neatly on the table.
“Now up on the table, hands and knees!”
i clambered onto the table and got on my hands and knees. Julie walked over and ducked under the table. When she came back up, she had a set of restraints. They were leather and looked as old as the building. She fastened them tightly around my wrists and ankles then attached them to some rings in the table top.
Miss Emily opened a drawer under the table and produced a ballgag. “Open!” She commanded. i obeyd, opening wide as the gag entered my mouth. She fastened the buckle behind my head then leant forward, looking me in the eye as she spoke, “now this is going to hurt and you will not like it, but you will love that this is happening and you will learn your lesson! Julie is here to film in case you get out of line again.”
She leant down into the drawer and produced a strap on dildo. A big dildo. Possibly the biggest dildo i had ever seen. Julie started recording on a handheld camera as Miss Emily stepped into the strap on. i knew what was coming. i was unable to resist...
It has been a month now. i have had two more disciplinaries since. They no longer hurt, but if i get one more, the videos go viral...
But i was good at what i did and was respected among my peers. Until last month.
It was a Friday afternnon and it was slow. i had just reset another password and was mouthing off to a colleague. “123abc is clearly too hard for these people!” i had joked. We were still chuckling when the next call came through. The woman had locked out their system and “urgently needed to get back in”. i took one look and just dismissed her plight. Her name was Emily and she worked in “resolution”, whatever that meant.
“Please,” she had begged, “i don’t want to lose my job!”
“That’s not my problem,” i had said, “but for future reference try remembering your password.”
She had burst into tears and hung up. i spent the rest of the afternoon doing as little as possible.
The following Monday i arrived at work to a huddle of people around my desk. I pressed through the crowd and found a beautiful woman sat on my desk. She had long red hair flowing down past her shoulders, a few strands clutching at her pretty face. She looked to be in her early twenties. She was wearing a tight white blouse showing off her ample breasts and a short pencil skirt. On her feet were a pair of black patent mary jane heels.
“Can i help you?” i asked.
“Sure,” she said in a calm voice, “you can choose between your job and your dignity.”
i glanced around quickly. There was no sign of my boss. “He’s gone,” she said, “promoted to my old job! The one i lost on Friday. Thank you for your help fixing my PC, and the advice was so very useful. Well now i’m your boss and I’m giving you a choice: keep your job, or keep your dignity?”
Her voice was calm, a polar opposite to her panicked and tearful plea on the phone. i had no idea what was going on, but i could not afford to lose my job.
“i can’t lose this job,” i pleaded, “please don’t sack me. i’m sorry i didn’t help you before, but please don’t sack me. i’ll do anything to keep this job.”
My colleagues all burst into laughter. “Of course you keep your job,” Emily chuckled, “I couldn’t sack you if i wanted to, but it’s good to know your dignity is so easily sacrificed.”
i felt my face redden. i had never felt so ashamed. All of my colleagues were laughing at me and my new boss had not only caused the situation, but was encouraging them. She looked straight at me and smirked. There was a spark, i started to get hard. She was looking right into my soul.
i hurredly sat down. Emily was still perched on the edge of my desk as my colleagues returned to theirs. “Aww, don’t you like being humiliated in front of your colleagues?” She asked.
i started my PC, avoiding eye contact.
“Or perhaps you do,” she continued, “i saw you twitch. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, at least as long as you behave.”
Her eyes burned into me as i met her gaze. “What do i have to do?” i asked.
“Firstly, we will have a disciplinary for your poor performance last week. Then you will start working as my assistant, in addition to your usual duties. If you perform well enough, eventually you will be my assistant full time. Now, disciplinary, go to the meeting room and wait.”
i quickly grabbed a notepad and pen and headed to the meeting room downstairs. The office was built in an eighteenth century hospital and the meeting room used to be the archives in the basement. The room was modern, but not without some of the original touches, the oak door, the arches along the walls, even some of the equipment remained. i entered the room and changed the sign on the door to “Occupied”. i took a seat at the table and waited.
After a few minutes, Emily appeared. With her was a woman i recognised from HR. She had an air of confidence about her as she swept into the room. Emily locked the door behind her and slid into the seat opposite me. The HR woman stood at the head of the table.
“Resolution,” began Emily, “is not a customer facing department. The team works on finding weak links in the company and dealing with them. I must tell you that anything discussed here is strictly confidential and will not leave this room. I must ask that you afford me the same courtesy. Okay?”
“Good,” she said before I could answer, “I do not want to fire you, nor do I want to tarnish your employee record. But you must be punished. Are you willing to hear our terms?” i nodded.
“Excellent,” she continued, “You know about the changes to your role, but first we have to deal with your attitude. As I said before, you can keep your job, but not your dignity, and you clearly want to keep your job.”
“i do,” i said meekly.
“From now on, you will address me as Miss Emily, Miss or Boss. You will accept any punishment that is decided or you will be unemployed. You will be punished for all failures. Now stand up and show me how hard your cock is!”
i stood. Just as she had said, my cock was fully erect, straining hard against my jeans.
“Now strip!”
i looked to the HR woman. “Julie will not help you,” said Miss Emily, “this was her idea.”
Resigned, i stripped out of my clothes, folding them neatly on the table.
“Now up on the table, hands and knees!”
i clambered onto the table and got on my hands and knees. Julie walked over and ducked under the table. When she came back up, she had a set of restraints. They were leather and looked as old as the building. She fastened them tightly around my wrists and ankles then attached them to some rings in the table top.
Miss Emily opened a drawer under the table and produced a ballgag. “Open!” She commanded. i obeyd, opening wide as the gag entered my mouth. She fastened the buckle behind my head then leant forward, looking me in the eye as she spoke, “now this is going to hurt and you will not like it, but you will love that this is happening and you will learn your lesson! Julie is here to film in case you get out of line again.”
She leant down into the drawer and produced a strap on dildo. A big dildo. Possibly the biggest dildo i had ever seen. Julie started recording on a handheld camera as Miss Emily stepped into the strap on. i knew what was coming. i was unable to resist...
It has been a month now. i have had two more disciplinaries since. They no longer hurt, but if i get one more, the videos go viral...
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
The box
i awake to darkness. my cage has been covered. Cramped as i am, i feel about for the door. It is locked, just as it was last night. There is no reason to panic. i feel out past the bars and touch a warm, hard surface. A gentle scratch hints that it is wood.
i glimpse a sliver of light under the edge in one corner and i relax and go back to sleep.
It is still dark when i wake up again. This time i hear Your voice, but i cannot make out what You are saying. There is a man’s voice too. You sound different. You are not being stern with the man, You sound playful. Then i hear You moan.
i try to close out the sounds, muffled as they are. i can picture You with him, but no face comes to mind. i feel hurt, broken, but my cock says otherwise.
You get louder and i hear footsteps on the floor. i try to make myself as quiet as possible. i do not want to interrupt.
The wood scrapes on the floor and You moan again. Another scrape, another moan. The man too, grunts and pants. Scrapes and moans. i can hear You fucking him just inches away.
More scrapes, more moans, more grunts, then a scream. Pleasure. i try not to listen, but i cannot stop. You scream in pleasure. He shouts Your name, Your true name, the name i am not to use. You are Mistress, Ma’am and Goddess.
He has had You. my cock stands firm but i feel dead inside. i hear the door open and close. He has gone.
Light! Bright light fills the cage. i look up to the light. You are peering through a hatch in the top of the box.
“Tongue here!” You command. i obey.
Then You are gone. i wait. my back becomes stiff as my cock becomes limp. Then You return. You sit over the hatch.
Darkness again. i reach out my tongue. You are too far. The bars hurt my face but i stretch. my back is limber again, my cock stiff.
Then bliss as i taste You. But i did not reach. i am tasting him. i am tasting the man who brought You pleasure. His seed fills my mouth, but i do not swallow. i savour this real man.
Light again. Then Your eyes as You close the hatch once more. i hear You walk away across the floor.
i swallow, tasting him fully. i sit broken hearted, nauseous. my cock has betrayed me, my belly is covered in my own cum.
i glimpse a sliver of light under the edge in one corner and i relax and go back to sleep.
It is still dark when i wake up again. This time i hear Your voice, but i cannot make out what You are saying. There is a man’s voice too. You sound different. You are not being stern with the man, You sound playful. Then i hear You moan.
i try to close out the sounds, muffled as they are. i can picture You with him, but no face comes to mind. i feel hurt, broken, but my cock says otherwise.
You get louder and i hear footsteps on the floor. i try to make myself as quiet as possible. i do not want to interrupt.
The wood scrapes on the floor and You moan again. Another scrape, another moan. The man too, grunts and pants. Scrapes and moans. i can hear You fucking him just inches away.
More scrapes, more moans, more grunts, then a scream. Pleasure. i try not to listen, but i cannot stop. You scream in pleasure. He shouts Your name, Your true name, the name i am not to use. You are Mistress, Ma’am and Goddess.
He has had You. my cock stands firm but i feel dead inside. i hear the door open and close. He has gone.
Light! Bright light fills the cage. i look up to the light. You are peering through a hatch in the top of the box.
“Tongue here!” You command. i obey.
Then You are gone. i wait. my back becomes stiff as my cock becomes limp. Then You return. You sit over the hatch.
Darkness again. i reach out my tongue. You are too far. The bars hurt my face but i stretch. my back is limber again, my cock stiff.
Then bliss as i taste You. But i did not reach. i am tasting him. i am tasting the man who brought You pleasure. His seed fills my mouth, but i do not swallow. i savour this real man.
Light again. Then Your eyes as You close the hatch once more. i hear You walk away across the floor.
i swallow, tasting him fully. i sit broken hearted, nauseous. my cock has betrayed me, my belly is covered in my own cum.
Friday, 10 February 2012
This week...
This week i have been thinking about a rather gorgeous transsexual woman (MtF) who i recently found online. She stood a clear country mile from the usual drag acts that claim to be transgender, the ones who dress up once a week and get in front of a webcam.
So my thoughts have been about transsexual women. Then i started to think about why i liked transsexual women. Then i realised, i adore Women, and i love cock. The two combined can only be a winner.
So, in those few moments, i started thinking about how i would love to worship a man’s cock at the command of a Woman. Not just a quick suck, but a full hour of worship.
Then i sat for a while, thinking about a scenario.
After arriving at Your home, You instruct me into the bathroom and have me strip off. You then attach a collar and lead and take me to Your living room. There is a man there, waiting, sat in a chair in the middle of the room. He is wearing a suit, black with a navy blue tie. You push me to my knees in front of him.
“I want to watch you worship his cock!” You tell me.
i look up at the man, “May i unzip You, Sir?” i ask.
He nods and i proceed to gently unzip his fly. He is not wearing underwear so i immediately start by kissing his soft cock. I gently tease him with my tongue, flicking his foreskin playfully until he starts to rise. i continue to lick and kiss his hardening cock as You walk around behind him.
You start to issue instructions, as if it were Your own cock in front of me. He is soon rock hard and You tell me to start sucking. i take his cock into my mouth and tease the tip some more. i lick down his shaft and gently tongue his balls before taking them into my mouth, one at a time then both together, sucking gently. i gently stroke his long shaft as i suck gently on his balls.
Looking up into Your eyes, i venture further, licking under his balls. Then lower still, his hard cock on my forehead as i lick his arse, still stroking his long shaft. Then back up, sucking his balls again and licking back up the length of his cock, feeling Your eyes pierce through me.
i reach the head of his cock and he thusts hard, plunging deep into my mouth, his strong hands behind my head. He pulls down hard, and again and again then holds tight. i feel him tense and i look up at You, smiling as You watch Your slut struggle to take his first load of spunk. my mouth is filled with the salty taste and i choke a little as i try to swallow fast enough. Some of his cum spurts from my nose and around the sides of my mouth.
“Such a slut!” You say as You walk back around, picking up my lead and dragging me from the room…
So my thoughts have been about transsexual women. Then i started to think about why i liked transsexual women. Then i realised, i adore Women, and i love cock. The two combined can only be a winner.
So, in those few moments, i started thinking about how i would love to worship a man’s cock at the command of a Woman. Not just a quick suck, but a full hour of worship.
Then i sat for a while, thinking about a scenario.
After arriving at Your home, You instruct me into the bathroom and have me strip off. You then attach a collar and lead and take me to Your living room. There is a man there, waiting, sat in a chair in the middle of the room. He is wearing a suit, black with a navy blue tie. You push me to my knees in front of him.
“I want to watch you worship his cock!” You tell me.
i look up at the man, “May i unzip You, Sir?” i ask.
He nods and i proceed to gently unzip his fly. He is not wearing underwear so i immediately start by kissing his soft cock. I gently tease him with my tongue, flicking his foreskin playfully until he starts to rise. i continue to lick and kiss his hardening cock as You walk around behind him.
You start to issue instructions, as if it were Your own cock in front of me. He is soon rock hard and You tell me to start sucking. i take his cock into my mouth and tease the tip some more. i lick down his shaft and gently tongue his balls before taking them into my mouth, one at a time then both together, sucking gently. i gently stroke his long shaft as i suck gently on his balls.
Looking up into Your eyes, i venture further, licking under his balls. Then lower still, his hard cock on my forehead as i lick his arse, still stroking his long shaft. Then back up, sucking his balls again and licking back up the length of his cock, feeling Your eyes pierce through me.
i reach the head of his cock and he thusts hard, plunging deep into my mouth, his strong hands behind my head. He pulls down hard, and again and again then holds tight. i feel him tense and i look up at You, smiling as You watch Your slut struggle to take his first load of spunk. my mouth is filled with the salty taste and i choke a little as i try to swallow fast enough. Some of his cum spurts from my nose and around the sides of my mouth.
“Such a slut!” You say as You walk back around, picking up my lead and dragging me from the room…
Saturday, 21 January 2012
A great day - A brief summary of the youngdommes/class5b shoot
After all that was discussed with my partner, i decided to attend the shoot. i caught the train again and arrived at the required time, having met another filming slave at the station. After the general introductions and limits chat, the Dommes arrived and the day began.
my first scene was pet play (my recurring theme) and Miss Amy took me for the photoshoot. It was a posy shoot, culminating in Her feeding me a dog treat. Amy is gorgeous, and after some direction really loosened up.
my next scene was a video and more pet play. Miss Ely took me out the front of the house (visible from the road if you drive slowly enough) and took me for “walkies”. Miss Ely is a true Domme to the core and seemed to genuinely enjoy my humiliation. Unfortunately, while walking me indoors, i cut my knee quite badly.
Some general foot worship scenes were next. i watched one of the other slaves take a horrendous thrashing upside down in the brutal cold outside. Another slave was caged.
Then it was my turn again. On arrival i had drawn the short straw for this scene. i was placed outside in the cage and i waited while the Dommes filmed inside. Then Miss Amy and Miss April came outside with my lunch. After some more doggy pet play they dished up my meal, a plate of dog food. The smell alone made me wretch. Apparently my lack of enthusiasm for eating the food was noticed and both Dommes took the opportunity to force my face into the food. Then, as i still hadn’t eaten much, more “walkies” to build an appetite. Finally it was back to the cage to eat some more.
That whole scene felt 100% real. It was not staged or acted; Miss April wanted me to eat that food. i tried and failed and that clearly pissed Her off, hence stamping my face into the plate. Despite the disgusting food, this was one of my favourite scenes, purely for the reality.
Another couple of general scenes were next, including a photoshoot with Miss Pixie the schoolgirl beating me and another guy up in the locker room. This CFNM scene nearly went bi when Miss Pixie had me kiss Her feet while standing on the other slave. Fortunately, that was the extent of the scene. Another scene had me giving pony rides. Sadly my knee was failing me completely and i was struggling to move.
my last scene is my standout favourite. Ballbusting with Miss Ely, who had brought her ballbusting shoes especially. Every kick was sweet agony and She had me collapsed in just a couple of kicks. Then the other Dommes had a turn, each seeing how many kicks it would take to drop me. Miss April won with just two. Then, having grown bored of ballbusting, it was time for some more face-slapping. Miss Amy had my ears ringing but it was worth it.
All in all it was a great day. i would definitely like to do it all again. With regards to the Dommes, Miss Ely was the standout for me. i think i will have to arrange a session with Her soon.
my first scene was pet play (my recurring theme) and Miss Amy took me for the photoshoot. It was a posy shoot, culminating in Her feeding me a dog treat. Amy is gorgeous, and after some direction really loosened up.
my next scene was a video and more pet play. Miss Ely took me out the front of the house (visible from the road if you drive slowly enough) and took me for “walkies”. Miss Ely is a true Domme to the core and seemed to genuinely enjoy my humiliation. Unfortunately, while walking me indoors, i cut my knee quite badly.
Some general foot worship scenes were next. i watched one of the other slaves take a horrendous thrashing upside down in the brutal cold outside. Another slave was caged.
Then it was my turn again. On arrival i had drawn the short straw for this scene. i was placed outside in the cage and i waited while the Dommes filmed inside. Then Miss Amy and Miss April came outside with my lunch. After some more doggy pet play they dished up my meal, a plate of dog food. The smell alone made me wretch. Apparently my lack of enthusiasm for eating the food was noticed and both Dommes took the opportunity to force my face into the food. Then, as i still hadn’t eaten much, more “walkies” to build an appetite. Finally it was back to the cage to eat some more.
That whole scene felt 100% real. It was not staged or acted; Miss April wanted me to eat that food. i tried and failed and that clearly pissed Her off, hence stamping my face into the plate. Despite the disgusting food, this was one of my favourite scenes, purely for the reality.
Another couple of general scenes were next, including a photoshoot with Miss Pixie the schoolgirl beating me and another guy up in the locker room. This CFNM scene nearly went bi when Miss Pixie had me kiss Her feet while standing on the other slave. Fortunately, that was the extent of the scene. Another scene had me giving pony rides. Sadly my knee was failing me completely and i was struggling to move.
my last scene is my standout favourite. Ballbusting with Miss Ely, who had brought her ballbusting shoes especially. Every kick was sweet agony and She had me collapsed in just a couple of kicks. Then the other Dommes had a turn, each seeing how many kicks it would take to drop me. Miss April won with just two. Then, having grown bored of ballbusting, it was time for some more face-slapping. Miss Amy had my ears ringing but it was worth it.
All in all it was a great day. i would definitely like to do it all again. With regards to the Dommes, Miss Ely was the standout for me. i think i will have to arrange a session with Her soon.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Anticipation
i recently applied for a position as a filming slave for a professional kink production company. i have had the pleasure of working with this particular company before, and i find their style refreshing. The position is unpaid, save expenses, but that’s to be expected given the subject matter. i sent my application late one evening after spotting an ad on a filming slave notice board. i had waited all of fifteen minutes before i received a reply.
Now, with the date of the shoot looming, i am terrified. There are a few things that i am worried about, some small, some fairly significant.
First, will i be up to standard? Last time i shaved all over as this is what was preferred. This time i am unable to do so, although i plan to take a razor just in case. Also, having set no limits last time, will i be able to withstand what is thrown at me? Last time was no picnic, i was hosed down with ice cold water and it was not a warm day. i cannot shake the feeling that this is again in store and this time it’s winter.
Second, will anybody find out? i do not like the hood that is offered to protect identity, somehow i get claustrophobic. However, revealing myself to the world in this way is less than appealing. The only comfort is that if someone were to see the video, they must have signed up to the sites, meaning they have as much to hide as i do.
The third, and rather significant issue is the strain on my relationship. With my relationship almost at breaking point, is this the most sensible option? The fact is that i enjoy this, not for gratification, but degrading myself at the commands of beautiful women makes me feel liberated. At home, i often have to ask and explain before i can be treated this way, defeating the purpose entirely.
So now i am excited yet uneasy. Part of me wants to cancel, but i cannot. As this is a professional agreement, i do not believe it would be right to walk away. The company in question has seen its fair share of this and i do not want that kind of reputation.
Now, with the date of the shoot looming, i am terrified. There are a few things that i am worried about, some small, some fairly significant.
First, will i be up to standard? Last time i shaved all over as this is what was preferred. This time i am unable to do so, although i plan to take a razor just in case. Also, having set no limits last time, will i be able to withstand what is thrown at me? Last time was no picnic, i was hosed down with ice cold water and it was not a warm day. i cannot shake the feeling that this is again in store and this time it’s winter.
Second, will anybody find out? i do not like the hood that is offered to protect identity, somehow i get claustrophobic. However, revealing myself to the world in this way is less than appealing. The only comfort is that if someone were to see the video, they must have signed up to the sites, meaning they have as much to hide as i do.
The third, and rather significant issue is the strain on my relationship. With my relationship almost at breaking point, is this the most sensible option? The fact is that i enjoy this, not for gratification, but degrading myself at the commands of beautiful women makes me feel liberated. At home, i often have to ask and explain before i can be treated this way, defeating the purpose entirely.
So now i am excited yet uneasy. Part of me wants to cancel, but i cannot. As this is a professional agreement, i do not believe it would be right to walk away. The company in question has seen its fair share of this and i do not want that kind of reputation.
Head, meet brick wall
It’s official. Expaining kink to my partner is like banging my head against a brick wall. Last week i showed her a chastity device online and asked what she thought. It seemed promising as she went off and looked at other devices and how they worked. i was excited by the thought of handing her the keys to my sex drive.
Then the next day, cool as a cucumber. i asked her again how she felt about it. She replied that she didn’t understand, was i asking to be put in chastity? Once again, she had missed the point.
Since i revealed my inclinations to her, i have explained one simple truth:
Sometimes she understands, but usually she does not care. i have dropped many hints to her, but either she ignores them or she straight out asks me if that’s what i want. As soon as that happens, the answer is no.
Despite this, i am constantly being berated for not understanding her needs. Her need for sensual and passionate love-making, her need for a vigorous fucking, her need for romance, apparently i am blind to these. This is not true at all, she gets what she wants far more than i do.
i recently had a long drinking session with a friend where we discussed life and love. She said that it seems like my partner is projecting her insecurities. i have to admit, it does seem like that.
*My partner cheated on me for an extended period and every time i talk to a woman, i must be cheating too.
*My partner does not give me what i crave sexually, i get accused of not meeting her needs.
*She becomes an ice queen and goes into the foulest of moods, she tells me that i don’t want to talk.
Perhaps this is just women in general, but it seems insane to me.
Then the next day, cool as a cucumber. i asked her again how she felt about it. She replied that she didn’t understand, was i asking to be put in chastity? Once again, she had missed the point.
Since i revealed my inclinations to her, i have explained one simple truth:
If i have to explain what i want, then it takes away the whole dynamic
Sometimes she understands, but usually she does not care. i have dropped many hints to her, but either she ignores them or she straight out asks me if that’s what i want. As soon as that happens, the answer is no.
Despite this, i am constantly being berated for not understanding her needs. Her need for sensual and passionate love-making, her need for a vigorous fucking, her need for romance, apparently i am blind to these. This is not true at all, she gets what she wants far more than i do.
i recently had a long drinking session with a friend where we discussed life and love. She said that it seems like my partner is projecting her insecurities. i have to admit, it does seem like that.
*My partner cheated on me for an extended period and every time i talk to a woman, i must be cheating too.
*My partner does not give me what i crave sexually, i get accused of not meeting her needs.
*She becomes an ice queen and goes into the foulest of moods, she tells me that i don’t want to talk.
Perhaps this is just women in general, but it seems insane to me.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
New year, new me, new idea
We are now a week into 2012. This year is the year of Olympics, Apocalypse and a host f other events.
i made some resolutions this year.
1) Lose weight
2) Be happier
These are some nice generics but i have some specifics that i can only post here.
Losing weight is straight forward. Being happier is a lot more complex. This year, i plan to exercise my kink a lot more. i am going to start going to fetish club nights, local munches and generally getting into the community.
i am also going to ask my partner to put me in chastity as an experiment. i have just one concern, drinking with the lads could be a problem (the people i drink with think drunken nudity is a legal requirement). i think i'll suggest it, but ask for permission for release to go out on big weekends...
Any ideas, post a comment.
i made some resolutions this year.
1) Lose weight
2) Be happier
These are some nice generics but i have some specifics that i can only post here.
Losing weight is straight forward. Being happier is a lot more complex. This year, i plan to exercise my kink a lot more. i am going to start going to fetish club nights, local munches and generally getting into the community.
i am also going to ask my partner to put me in chastity as an experiment. i have just one concern, drinking with the lads could be a problem (the people i drink with think drunken nudity is a legal requirement). i think i'll suggest it, but ask for permission for release to go out on big weekends...
Any ideas, post a comment.
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